Beautiful Disaster

Still waiting on the results of my third (and hopefully last o_o) blood test, also the results of a urine test (oops tmi o_o), not as sick as before but still super exhausted and with the weird headaches tho thankfully not 'need to go to the ER' worthy. James got an iPad for Christmas but I seem to have more use for it lol, its great when laying in bed sick. Sierra still prefer's the computer screen but we downloaded her a couple games anyway. She plays but doesn't wack the iPad hard enough to register.

Also been using Kinect's once a week to video chat with Luna, her cat's seem to enjoy it and I know Sierra loves watching.



Took Sierra for a check up the other day (Columbia Square Vet Clinic) because they were offering a free one until Jan 31st. The aged her at about 4-5yrs old which is what I thought and other than needing a dental cleaning ($120) she is perfectly healthy. Since we were there we got her a vaccination, just a basic one for indoor cats. We will go back and get her the others soon once the weather gets better enough to take her out for walks. Still want to get her a jacket harness (harder to escape from) and a little jacket to keep her warm. Still need the stroller too.

She met the resident kitty and despite looking annoyed in the photo they were both very interested to see one another. The vet tech had to boot the poor kitty out of the exam room because he followed us in there and didn't want to leave :P




James and I haven't really had any date nights out in awhile with me being so sick but he's made me feel better about it by setting up sweet things for us to do at home, like games, Criminal Minds marathons, cookie dough Blizzards, etc...its been nice ^_^ Might even try and go to that weekly photography group with him next week if I can manage it.

Doing a lot better but still not %100. Test results came back and although the chest x-ray was good the blood and urine test had a high white blood cell count so he wants me to go back after Christmas and have them done again. Three blood tests in one month? Egads :P

But I'm happy the headaches are not as intense and less frequent plus the lump has gone down quite a bit.

James is coming over later today and we are having our Christmas together. He decided the other day to try and get plane tickets to go see his family over the holidays so we are going to sit under the tree and open each others gifts tonight. It'll be nice ^_^ Then we are probably going to go to Capilano Suspension Bridge for Canyon Lights XD

I will miss him like crazy over the holidays but will be fine. we had both planned on going to Alberta this Christmas but driving is pretty expensive (I refuse to fly with Sierra unless she can go under my seat) and the SUV needs fixing up, we were a little worried it might not make it through the mountains this time around.

So Christmas Eve day I will see him off at the airport then head to my brothers for Christmas with him, Dana, Candace and my Mum. Then my Mum and I are going to do a Christmas day breakfast together here. I will also be staying at James' place to take care of Sierra~

Saw the doctor yesterday, he sent me up to get another blood test (they took more this time), a urine test and even though I don't have a cough - a chest x-ray. I go back Tuesday to get the results and he told me to head up to the ER if my fever gets bad again. We at least know its nothing bacterial since the antibiotics haven't done anything. I still have to finish them though but thankfully there is only 2 left. They are the most foul smelling things omg :X

Still feeling sick meant missing Changeling and Marcella & Neal's Yule party :(, it means missing Peta's birthday today, missing a meet-up I wanted to go to on Sunday and a dinner with family/my brothers friend's Sunday night.

Hoping I'll be better or something by Christmas Eve when we are supposed to be having Christmas dinner at my brothers place. Although they do know I may just have to stay at home and miss it all. James would stay with me at least so I wouldn't be stuck alone.

I haven't seen him much the past few days because he came down with a bad cough/cold and I don't want to risk getting something else on top of whatever this may be. I haven't seen Sierra in two weeks which really sucks :( Im hoping James feels better today so I can go be sick at his place :P

Monday: My Doctor said the blood tests results would be in but I didn't think they'd be there that fast and I was right :X So around 7pm my Mum and I left for the ER (James was at school and its finals for him, I didn't want him to leave early to come get me). We tried asking my brother for a ride but he had a couple beers with dinner and couldn't, felt really bad about it though and offered us money for a cab. I didn't want to waste $15 each way and said we could just take the bus (it's right down the street and takes us straight there)

It's not like I was feeling the cold because I still had a fever but once on the bus I was seriously regretting my decision omg o_o. It took almost an hour to get there over the bumpiest roads ever...and I was already in so much pain.

The emergency room was nuts and super crowded, full of screaming children, 4 women who talked for an hour and a half straight loudly right near me, a man with breath that smelled like a baby had shate their pants and a psych patient take down. I was ready to stab myself in the head o_o

Oh, and bad breath old man who was waiting for his older son had this annoying habbit of getting up whenever anyone one went to triage and standing behind them listening to everything....I wanted to tell him to GTFO. He ever wandered over to the phones when I called James around 10 to let him know what was going on.

The triage woman who took me vitals pretty much stabbed the thermometer under my tongue and then said "are you hitty?!" and Im like wha? Thinking maybe she's pronouncing my name wrong. "Hiddy? You hiddy??"

Now I can understand thick accents but this woman seemed fine other than whatever fuck word she was trying to say. Finally I said "I'm sorry, I can't understand what you are trying to say" She looked pissed off and said "Are you a normally hiddy person?" and I realized then she meant HEALTHY /swt

Finally went in back, saw a grumpy doushe of a doctor who was cranky to the nurses and patients. He wanted to know why I was there etc...I told him what the doctor said and he said in this really snotty voice "Well did she also tell you that ultrasound is CLOSED at night?"

No asshole, she didn't.

He was kind enough to give me some strong painkillers tho (only 3....but whatever) and make me an appointment to come back in the next day for an ultrasound. James came and picked us up since he was out of school and got me home fast~


Didn't really sleep that night, it was kind of a drugged out doze, one Percocete didn't even totally take away all the pain. Made she to take another in the morning before we left and that one seemed to help a lot with it. Sat at the bus stop with my Mum to wait and was feeling not to bad, we were talking when a huge wave of nausea hit me and I thought I was going to puke. As fast as that came it went and then I was starting to faint. My Mum asked what she could do, if we should just go home and get a cab. It was hard to talk because that made the wanting to puke feeling come back. My eyes were going all weird and I could feel my upper body swaying.

I needed ice water but there was none, told her there was no way I could move and was not wasting money on a cab, I just needed to sit and lean on her. She said ok and I slumped against her shoulder trying to force myself to stay conscious.

About 5mins later the bus came.

Got to the hospital, signed in, had vitals taken, then went back with a really nice Sonographer guy to scan my neck. I expected the goo to feel ice cold but it was super warm and I felt myself drifting off to sleep when we weren't joking about demons making a home in my neck.

Then I was sent back to where I'd first signed in, slumped into a chair and waited for awhile for the doctor to give us the results. When he finally came out he called us to come follow him which worried me because earlier he was giving people the good news right there...so was this bad news? But it wasn't some office we went into, just a diagnoses room. He was another doushey grump but I got the ultrasound results back.

He said they couldn't see any abscesses and there weren't any "suspicious masses" which made Lymphoma unlikely thank god. At that my Mum was like OMG YAY and was hugging me....I was like wtf woman, you said you weren't worried it was that and she was like erm...shush. I was honestly to sick and tired to get too worried about it.

He would not give me any painkillers and told me to stick to Advil, which really doesn't touch it even tho I pop 800mg, and told me they weren't sure wtf was wrong with me so keep taking my antibiotics and follow up with my doctor in a week.

Managed to eat something small in the hospital cafe, I have an appetite but the past few days eating takes too much effort so anything other than juice and manderine oranges = nokthcx

Got home about 5pm and crashed for 12hrs. This weekend is looking like a write off for me =\

~ Went to Imaginarius Fantasticus with James and met up with Rina and her friend. It was nice because I haven't seen her since Andrew & Alisha's wedding but since she's out in Vancouver more maybe we can hang out. Anyway, the Imaginarius Fantasticus was pretty cool, saw lots of friends and a lot of the ren faire people. Also saw a bunch of stuff I wanted but only bought a bracelet. Got a bunch of business cards though, including one from a girl who makes the most amazing clothing, in a style I've been in love with for awhile now. So we talked for a bit and I told her I'd be commissioning things from her next year.

James also bought me THE MOST AMAZING HAT from her but I'm not allowed to have it until Christmas XD

After spending a few hours looking around and talking to friends we walked down to Deadly Couture so I could pick up some Lagoon Blue by Punky Colour....which didn't exactly work well lol, my hair is now blue with some green and blonde lol. No big deal tho. I'm going to pick up a darker shade "Atlantic blue" tomorrow and go over the funny bits.

~ For some reason Sierra has taken to biting us at night. She was always hard to get on a schedule, she didn't seem to like sleeping through the night but we managed it. She has crunchies throughout the day along with water and gets one can of soft food a day split up so breakfast/lunch/dinner and bedtime snack. Plus several playtime's and always a playtime before bed in an attempt to tire her out.

Usually she wants us awake because she wants more food, another play, shes just bored, she wants the entire bed to herself. She'd meow but we'd just ignore it. Now she bites skin...and she goes after James more than me o_o So we picked her up a bottle of Rescue Remedy because I'd heard so many good things about it. We put 2 drops on her breakfast and two on her bedtime snack. After bout 5 doses it seems to have at least relaxed her quite a bit.

She's usually quite scared of the bathroom, probably had a bad scare with water long before she ever came in to our lives. When I was in the bathroom on Saturday doing my make-up she hopped right up on the counter and then went into the sink to lay down o_o


I may have to start using that stuff on Taro o_o.

~ Friday is troupe Changeling, I still have to finish up my character but I've got most of the costume ready to go. Sadly I don't really have a skirt that would work but I'll figure something out. I'll be an Elemental Darkest, snowskin something or other. I be a Snowflake XD So I'll get to wear my new corset and the pretty snowflake necklace Lude got for me.

~ While digging through my costume stuff I realized I have a ton of jewelry and keep forgetting what exactly I have, so I'm going to slowly photograph each piece so all I need to do is flip through a costume folder on Flickr.

~ Going Christmas shopping with my Mum tomorrow, dreading crazy crowded Metrotown omg :X

Picked up Padme's ashes a couple weeks ago, they also came with a print out of the poem "Rainbow Bridge" (when I have some extra money I'd like to get a frame for it). Also picked up her paw-print, its really pretty~.

I've even got the necklace, Luna brought up when she came since the website I used only took orders within the US and then I just paid her back for it. And James spent a tense 20mins (maybe longer) trying to carefully put the ashes in without spilling any. I really appreciate him doing it because I couldn't bring myself to do it =\.

It's smaller than I expected which is great as I don't like large jewelry. Its also really pretty...I'm glad I have it.



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I read a lot of different communities tho so Im going to add those.

http://dot-gimp-snark.livejournal.com (Disabled people snark about life as a gimp)

http://kittypix.livejournal.com/ (cute photos and great members)

http://ontdcreepy.livejournal.com/ (Most amazing group of people ever, srly. Oh, and the posts are good too. Specially the Saturday FFAC)

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/

http://abandonedplaces.livejournal.com/ (gorgeous photos omg)

Facebook and Twitter obviously.

http://www.flickr.com/

http://www.ustream.tv/ffrcn (24-7 live webcam of the Friends of Felines Rescue Center. Sound is on when they aren`t too busy cleaning)

http://sisinmaru.blog17.fc2.com/ (Maru)

http://goteam.blog36.fc2.com/ (Every day Meme`s family http://youtu.be/zQRX366tNN4 SO SWEET OMG)

http://cuteoverload.com/

Padme was put to sleep yesterday, she still could not pee and the vet said she would not be able to teach me to express it because even with their years of experience, they were having trouble. They said her bladder was strange; probably a birth defect and I might cause internal damage if I tried.

They were also very concerned about renal failure (something I lost my last kitty, Ewok to).

We spent time with her, and then the vet took her in back to put a catheter in her paw. They brought her back to my Mum and I in the pretty little visitors room. She was wrapped like a taco again, in a puffy bed like the one she has at home and a couple blankets. I wanted to stay with her, hold her. Something I was unable to do with Ewok....I was too upset then so just my Mum went.

So I held her, gave her kisses, pets and told her I loved her and that I was sorry for doing this. It was quick and peaceful. Part of me really wanted to kick the vet away when she bent down to give the injection because it felt like WHY the hell would I let someone give my best friend something that was going to kill her?! I felt so awful and still do. I have had kitties my whole life but Padme and I have been the closest.
I asked to have her cremated, something else we were unable to do with Ewok due to funds :(

Because they were letting us do a payment plan they said okay, we will even get a clay paw print along with it for free. I picked blue because for some reason she always seemed to prefer that colour.

And although it seems frivolous....I really wanted a little silver heart necklace with some of her ashes in it. I know the money could be saved for Padme’s daughter Taro or the kitty my boyfriend and I are looking after (and will probably keep) or even donated but it was almost a panicky thing, I need this, I need her with me.

I got so upset when they said I’d have to pay the money for that upfront, all I had on me wad $60. Nowhere near enough, so I have sent messages to my best friend and boyfriend (who is away visiting family) asking if I can borrow it. The vet said they could wait a few days.
Padme got amazing care there; I’ll never be able to say enough good things about the South Burnaby Vet Hospital.

I’ve been crying ever since, my best kitty friend is gone. We would always have an afternoon nap together with the sun streaming through my window.

For now,( a heavy picsspam. )

Vote for James & I please ^_^
http://wildfireapp.com/website/6/contests/141816/voteable_entries?view_entries=1