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Been mostly posting to my Tumblr but I'll dump some of the text entries here:

2 days ago:

The pain in my neck/base of my skull was so bad yesterday that I looked online to see if there were any walk-in clinics open on a Sunday. Found one and James took me. The doctor was actually nice and listened to me. He asked if I was having any other symptoms so I mentioned all the joint pain I've been having and the pins and needles.

Which I was having a lot of while I was seeing him in my left elbow.
He did a lot of small neurological tests and then gave me some Celebrex (which is good because I still can’t afford my prescription for it from months ago so now I have about a weeks worth. He also gave me some pain killers and a strong muscle relaxant to take before bed and said if its still hurting in 4 days then go see my doctor because I may need a CT scan.

Came home, popped my pills and that combined with being awake since about 12am I was passing out reading tumblr so I crashed. Here’s hoping the pills fix me~

Wedding dress I love =

3 Days ago:

Did a bit of Christmas shopping today, and by a bit I mean bought ONE thing….picked up a doll for Katherine. Still not sure what I’m getting everyone else o_o The mall was so crazy and my legs were dying. I came home to a comfy bed + pain killers and napped twice. Was planning on going down to a craft fair and like LEAVING at 5am (crazy talk omg :X) but I should have done that yesterday as now the translink trip planner is like lololz no busses 4U! /swt The earliest I could get there is 7am and I wanted to be there at 6.

Oh well, I didn’t really relish sitting in the freezing cold for 4hrs just to get a swag bag, walking in the DARK, ALONE, etc…plus theres the whole issue of, I went to Metrotown for 2hrs and now I can hardly walk. Fuu. 5 days later my neck still hurts, yay car accident flares. Going to see the doctor Monday because ow.

One week ago:

Current score is : 17
PTSD Test Scoring:
1-3: (few symptoms of PTSD)
4-9: (PTSD likely)
10+: (You display many symptoms of PTSD)
Current score is : 21
Scoring: Your score from the depression screening quiz is above. Rating the severerity of your depression symptoms:
0-5 (None)
6-10 (Mild)
11-15 (Moderate)
16-20 (Severe)
21+ (Very Severe)

One week ago:

Monday: Went to Yaletown to see what was going on for International Day of Persons with a Disability, looked around at all the different booths and I was a little surprised when only 3 people bothered speaking to us. One woman telling us about adaptive sports, another really nice woman from the Vancouver Aquarium and then an older man talking about some artwork a group had done.

No one else even bothered to make eye contact X_x

Was this because we both looked healthy? I was fairly limpy the entire time I was there and hanging on to James for support. It was weird.
We only stayed about half an hour and then met up with Ian to wander around downtown, only popped into a couple stores because my body had had it so we went to grab some food and head home. Tuesday was spent in bed resting or asleep o_o now my hours are all over the place again. Fuu.

One week ago:

Friday: Legs mostly held up and pain was tolerable, made it to two events and other than some weakness and calf cramps it was all good. Of course like 5mins after I got home my left knee collapsed so hard it was like someone kicked it. I slammed into the counter but managed to keep upright and not hurt myself.

Crashed after the party, got up and got ready for Changeling. Chris didn't mention anything about my NPC so I just picked out one of my costumes and wore that hoping it would work and it did XD
Had a seriously awesome time and didn't die so I get to play her again next month ^_^

I stood for most of the game o_o just had too much to do so I know I’m going to pay for that but whatever, I had fun.
Hoping I can go out to the International Disability day thing later today but after 2 days of events I will be amazed o_o!
I should go to bed now but James and I are working on our Changeling characters for the restart. Can’t wait <3

One week ago:

Was talking to a newer friend today and was explaining bits of a past bad situation so they would have some context and even though its been two and a half years (and add into that 2 support groups and some therapy) and I was surprised that my hands started visibly shaking and that it made me want to cry. I really thought I was mostly over that bit. James was standing right next to me and even he was surprised at how much I was shaking.

It also bothered me because it feels like with that reaction the person still has power over me, I don’t want them to be able to affect me like that.

But it always reminded me of just how bad it was and how glad I am to be out of that situation. And how glad I am to have such awesome supportive friends ^_^

One week ago:

Stupid left knee has been extra bad the past few days, although extra bad seems like it has become normal….which is sad.
Today while James and I were out walking it was doing it so much I was not able to put any weight on it at all, and my poor right leg was exhausted from holding me up.

Thankfully James is always holding my hand which almost always prevents me from hitting the ground when I go down but this time he had to throw my arm around his shoulders and haul me home that way. And as we got even closer it got so bad that he just scooped me up and carried me. I am glad I have such an awesome boyfriend. ^_^

After getting me home he went back out to pick me up some orange juice I was craving and now I am in bed with all my fuzzy blankets and my legs propped up. So glad I don’t have to go anywhere tomorrow T_T
Looking forward to the Imaginarius Fantasticus Christmas Faire This weekend! Might dress up for it, not sure.

January 2013

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